NOTE: THIS PARTICULAR ENTRY IS SOLELY AS PERSONAL DIARY ENTRY. ALL ARE ENCOURAGED NOT TO SEE THIS ENTRY, ESPCIALLY DMC STUDENTS. IF YOU WISH TO, BY ALL MEANS.
dear blogger..
u know.. i fought with myself abit whether to write down this particular entry here.. still remember the carine incident.. someone told me that i was called a COWARD for not voicing out my unhapinness to her and instead onli dare to put it under some online virtual place.. ok.. if u really wan me to.. i dare.. but i dun have the stomach for such things.. it was one of the few things tt scored a turnoff..
aniwae.. this morning was unpleasant.. certainly unpleasant..MMR grp meeting was supposed to be at 9am.. and i had to skip DMA meeting because MMR group got me first.. and i got a rude wake from my slp on the bus by the handphone vibration..
'hi guys.. since some haven't finished the lit review, shall we then meet tml after school?'
i finished mine aniwae.. well.. ok.. den i guess i'll go for DMA meeting.. so i replied..
'ya.. haha.. but nvm de.. its that tml i onli have one hr to spare (and i dun even have that hour now) then i am occupied for the rest of the week le..'
cos i have work.. wed thurs 5-10, fri 6-10, sat sun 12-10.. wilxion gone for reservist and rico too(from millenia walk.. both are bosses).. so its bad enough to have one full timer gone.. and someone had to go millenia walk to replace rico.. and if i m not wrong another full timer jimmy is on MC these few days.. so i already figured out these few days would be quite heavy..
and guess wad? i got ticked off! for wad? for working too much! ya.. ok.. i agree that this isnt the time to work that much since projects are due.. but..
1)i already planned this to be my last week of work..
2)eric is having a hard time planning work schedules.. i hope to be able to help him abit..
3)income.. mother doesnt give me pocket money anymore.. so who is going to feed me for the next 2 months? october and november, considering i dun have pay in october, thus november i wont have money either..
ok.. in this case i wouldnt blame her for chiding me if i work too much.. cos i dun think she knows any of the three reasons up there..
but come on lo.. look at this other 2 follow up sms-es..
"well.. you got work? if it is, i hope you understand now is not the time to work. i hope you shopuld spend more time and effort in any proj. you go and think abt it la. unless you're telling me you need money urgently"
ok.. this is fine.. so i replied..
"sry"
i din invite her to go on any further..
"if having you to a grade down, doesnt matter to you, then i would say, by all means go ahead. but work assigned to you must be completeed with standards, and to do so, you would have to be present at the meeting to know whats going on. thats all i wanna say"
ok.. i know i haven been to meetings.. but tell me.. i tot the grp already said to meet up every tues.. and i left every tues free juz for them.. and they alwaz plan meetings after my working schedule is out..
ok.. nvm.. i can understand.. so i cancel some of my schedule to go to work..
but wads this lo.. to me.. i take the 2 sms-es as a ticking off.. i've done my work! i gave a 90% if not 100% work to this thing.. and guess wad? now u are ticking me off because u cannot have the meeting today? because some others did not complete the stuff and i m supposed to chng a date of meeting(thats fine).. and when i cant i get fucked!?!
WHAT THE HECK.. and wad m i supposed to do if i dun happen to have DMA meeting today? STONE HERE AT THE SCHOOL'S COMPUTER AND ROT?! aniwae i m late for it already.. hecks..
i muz say my MMR grp is a strong team.. this is not sarcastic.. its true.. but ITS TOO STRONG! i feel so weak.. wad i m doin at project meetings i'm not too sure as well..
Gavin was damn right man.. he called me last nite to tell me that i have DMA meeting at 9.. and i told him i have MMR.. and guess wad he said.. something like it doesnt make a difference whether i m there anot.. kaoz.. damn right man.. bullseye in the bullseye..
i m grateful that the gals do such complete stuff and they are so flawless in almost everything they do.. there isnt any place for me..
but its like.. so stressful! since last sem vern got fucked in marketing i knew it - god.. this is going to be super stressful.. every comment i make takes thinking.. and i had better check and check my work b4 handing in.. and the things i submit is nvr good i guess.. cos our standards are so different!
ok blogger.. think i better go to DMA.. thats all..