11.58pm Saturday

promised winz tt I’d nvr mention her again.. she isn’t worth my love.. or izzit.. hahaz.. unconditioned love.. or rather I nvr did love her.. lolx.. I love her according to her standard.. but not to mine.. haha! Hmm.. I guess she muz be enjoying with some other guy on the bus doin wad she did with me last time ba.. haha! Ignore all sms-es.. hahaz..

nono.. okok.. no more.. ok? Hahaz.. who cares.. hahaz.. even wilxion could see I’m so shagged today.. but winoa really made me feel better.. juz tt the fuking vinz still dun wan come out from his toilet and play gunbound with me yet.. humP~

wo bu guan le! Hahahaha! Okok!

Jy officially declares himself despo! Hahahz

Name: Tan Jia Yong (Darren)
Age: 18+
Sex: Nvr
Gender: Male
Relationships: 0
Current status: $5 left in my wallet
Status: Desperate for girlfriend

About me: Hi! Would like to meet more girls. for ACTIVITIES~ pretty ones most welcome.. not bad looking ones very welcome.. average looking ones are abit welcome.. not good looking ones… well…. Come…

Yay~ muz follow sun yan zi’s lyrics.. haha! Muz move on~! Yay! Goner.. become crazy le.. hahaz!

12.09am Sunday

8.22pm

bloody hell.. the stupid blogger hung on me again.. my post all gone.. hahaz.. alwaz liddat one.. dunno wads wrong with my computer..

tml is LSC test.. yet I still can come here and blog.. hahahaha~

think I going crazy le.. cherlyne’s sms is like an ecstasy.. the more the better.. even if its scoldings.. I ache all over now.. hahaz.. I consumed too much.. and this is my punishment..

quarreled with her this afternoon.. or rather not quarrel.. its like.. uhm.. I said she became very cold to me.. den dunno wad wad wad.. den she got very angry I guess..

"wad i told u is wad i really am. i really busy and tired. if u think its an excuse i got nothin to say"

hahaz.. so sad.. to think tt I dun trust her… hahaz.. but.. hahaz.. my fault?

Aniwae who thinks tt she is really tt tired and busy tt she can onli give cold replies in msn and sms, pls raise your hands..

Those who don’t.. tell me y k?

Seriously I wanna believe.. I believe every word she said.. she doesn’t tell lies to ppl by far.. even to ppl she doesn’t like.. but…

Its hard to believe isn’t it..

8.33 pm

8.51am

in school's library.. waiting for the ECM to start..

hmm.. still remembering wad vinz said last nite.. tts wad had impacted me the most by far when cher started this crap..

why the fucking hell get so upset over one ger.. hahaha~

bloody hell.. dare to scold me liddat.. hahaz..

but i guess he was scolding himself at the same time.. or rather he was scolding me in the view of scolding himself.. hahaz..

life's a bloody hell..

and yay mummy~ ur sonny has grown up again.. hahaz..

but he's so hurt.. he lost 2 of the ppl he likes to... schooling.. schooling.. wtf.. hahaz.. wad so important abt homeworks? to hecks with projects! haha~!

8.55 le. i better get going.. u wanna get married then marry la.. hahaz. bloody hell.. dun think i give a damn.. hahahah~

8.55am

6.42pm

im malfunctioning.. everything is breaking down.. fuck the LSC test.. fuck the CB test.. fuck the DMA presentation..

ur friendster status says: married.. when asked.. u said its for fun.. or izzit.. even if there's no proof.. i believe its true..

all ur photos are emptied.. i cant recognise u anymore.. i forgot ur face..

im so dead..

6.46pm

8.24pm

juz came home from returning cherlyne her slamdunk discs..

sitting down at the computer.. listening to Qi Li Xiang.. cant control my tears..

ok i admit.. i cant live without u.. even if its for now.. muz u treat me this way?

wad have i done to make u so cold towards me? u were tired last time when u work.. but u din show me these attitudes.. u have projects.. but others have projects to rush too.. they could spend time to msg me.. u said u wanna save money.. u do know there's such things called free sms on internet even in sch.. tt'd be nice too..

its juz too confusing for me..

i cant take it.. i dun understand..

8.29pm

Qi Li Xiang - Jay's new song.. its a love song.. the lyrics are 'im in love', the music is 'im out of love'... hahaz.. Sing..

chuang wai de ma que / zai dian xian gan shang duo zui The sparrow outside the window is being noisy on the electrical wire

ni shuo zhe yi ju / heng you xia tian de gan jue
You say that this sentence has a lot of that summer feeling

shou zhong de qian bi / zai zhi shang lai lai hui hui
The pencil in [my] hand, goes back and forth on the paper

wo yong ji hang zi xing rong ni shi wo de shei
I use a few lines to describe who you are to me
 
qiu dao yu / de zi wei / mao geng ni dou xiang liao jie
The taste of sanma fish, the cat and you both want to understand

chu lian de xiang wei jiu zhe yang bei wo meng xun hui
The fragrance of first love was rediscovered by us just like that 

na wen nuan / de yang guang / xiang gang zhai de xian yan cao mei
That warm sunlight, is like the brillant freshly-picked strawberries

ni shuo ni she bu de chi diao zhe yi zhong gan jue
You say you can't bear to eat up this feeling 

yu xia zheng ye / wo de ai yi chu jiu xiang yu shui
Rain falls the whole night, my love overflows just like rainwater

yuan zi luo ye / geng wo de si nian hou hou yi die
The fallen leaves in the yard, thickly overlaps with my lingering thoughts

ji ju shi fei / ye wu fa jiang wo de re qing leng que
A few words of dispute, cannot cool my warmth

ni chu xian zai wo shi de mei yi ye
You appear in my poem's every page 

yu xia zheng ye / wo de ai yi chu jiu xiang yu shui
Rain falls the whole night, my love overflows just like rainwater

chuang tai hu die / xiang shi li fen fei de mei li zhang jie
Butterfly on the window sill, is like the beautiful chapter that flutters about in the poem

wo jie zhe xie / ba yong yuan ai ni xie jin shi de jie wei
I continue to write, to write my eternal love for you into the poem's ending

ni she wo wei yi xiang yao de liao jie
You are the only understanding I want 

 na bao man / de dao sui / xing fu le zhe ge ji jie
That fulfilling ear of rice, made this season happy

er ni de lian jia xiang tian li shou tou de fan qie
Yet your cheek is like the rippened tomato in the fields

ni tu rang / dui wo shuo / qi li xiang de ming zi hen mei
You suddenly say to me, "Qi Li Xiang" this name is very beautiful

wo ci ke que zhi xiang qin wen ni jue jiang de zui
Yet at this moment I can only think of kissing your stubborn lips

 
Ni you zai ting ma cher?

9.30pm

everyone seems to get so clogged down by tests and projects.. hahaz.. wad are they are aniwae?
to show ur talents? help u get a job next time? or juz to BRIGHTEN up our sickening poly life?
why do we have to work so hard? and why do some ppl work so hard, and earn so little?
believe in fate anyone?
its juz fated tt one is born into a poor bangala family and have to work hard in singapore.. while other bangalas live well in singapore..clothe and feed well.. with a nice shelter over their heads..
and they get so fat.. tell me, wads the ratio of fat indians (over 40years old) to the ratio of moderate weight indians?
rather racist entry.. haha~
aniwae i admit i'm faT~ not as fat as some of them though.. =p
sometimes i really believe in fate.. for e.g. cancer.. when i was in sec1, my classmate died of leukemia (spelt like that?) i mean.. why of all ppl muz be her? it doesnt make sense that 'oh! i ate too muchsatay without eating cucumber~' (eating satay causes cancer as said by researchers)
seems like if death wants u dead, u have nowhere to go.. there's a time where u have to die.. hahaz..
and according to my palm readers.. i have a very long life.. lolx.. look at your palm.. the line tt leads to your wrist is supposed to be your lifetime.. mine is damned long.. hooray~
sorry vinz.. i tot he had a rather short line.. =p
but i dun wan to live on if i m a huge burden to my family.. i'd rather die.. who wans to sit there everyday, being able to do nth.. and trying to get some words out of your mouth is painful..
but guess tts how fate is.. some ppl can jump from 12th floor.. and miraculously survive.. cos death din want them..
my father had a fren who tripped over when he tried to jump off from back of the lorry.. he fell on his head and died..
like me.. fated not to have any gf all my life? hahaz.. i dunno.. aniwae they say tt 2004 is the year when those born in the year oftiger will get lucky in love..
'tao hua yun' they call it..
ya.. i believe it.. but my horoscope is stronger.. hahaz.. Unluckyin love! lolx..
is this the end? are we going seperate on our own? no i dun want to..i really....

9.49pm

12.04am

I juz finished my blog entry.. and the stupid computer hung on me again! Wtf~! Stupid computer.. sick of it..

Aniwae, I came home from work quite long ago already.. .ZzZZZzZ.. and father was using the computer.. and I couldn’t use the computer immediately.. sick..

WHOSE FATHER IN THE WORLD FIGHTS FOR THE COMPUTER AND USES THE COMPUTER TO PLAY GAMES?!

How lucky am I to have such a father.. okok.. I know I’ll get shot by lightning for saying that.. hahaz..

Ok aniwae.. he was nice when I was still younger.. but no longer nice when I grew up.. there’s nth positive tt I can say abt him..

Wad, urines all over the toilet bowl? Nono.. we use the ‘squatter’.. and he can shoot all over the place and he doesn’t clean and doesn’t FLUSH!

And his urine is GOD DAMN SMELLY~!

And he hangs to the television like anything.. he watches TAIWAN AH SENG till he falls asleep.. and forgets to switch off the tv.. till dunno wad time and someone has to wake up and switch it off for him..

Tts not the worst part.. whenever someone switches it off or flips the channel and he happen to wake up, he will..

oei~ I’m still watching!

wtf.. and he’s already spoilt the tv once.. a particular bulb was burnt.. and tt costs my mum 50 bucks..

and I get the blame..

aniwae.. I get dreamy sleeps these few days.. maybe I’m troubled..

remember those happy times.. I remember I longed for a dream.. a sweet dream.. but now.. all I get is funny dreams..

I remember one of it is tt I became a thief.. and I stole jewelleries tt are on display.. for some reason the display doesn’t have glass casings or sth.. so I stole them without any prob..

And I was stealing them for, well… cher

But after sometime here came the prob.. I had no more to steal.. and I din have enough.. (sounds like Yamakazi? Lolx..) so as I sat down to think.. someone sat down beside me.. I dunno who was it..

go rob a bank

hmm.. good idea, I thought..

the person seemed to know my purpose..

worth it?, he said..  

the dream ended.. I din wake up immediately though.. I remembered I slept for sometime after the dream before i woke up..

worth it? I dun really know.. do u wanna tell me the answer, cher?

12.18am

10.26pm

and oh gosh.. how i miss u..

if given a meter from 1-10, with 10 as the maximum.. and ask me how much is my miss for u.. i'd tell u its 11..

sitting here listening to the songs u sent me.. all tts left are memories.. memories.. and more memories..

nono~ hahaha~ cannot think of them anymore.. whenever i think of the sweet things u've said before and the times we've shared.. i juz wanna cry.. hahaz.. nono.. i must not..

days are getting boring.. school projects starting soon.. ZzZz

wondering if u are frequent-ing my blog.. hahaz.. why muz u make u so miserable? lolx..

10.30pm

11.58pm

sometimes its not tt i din post my blog.. i write down such a long blog.. and when i hit the publish button.. nth happen.. and i find myself being unable to publish the post, unable to oopen programs to save wad i have actually written, cos the stupid modem failed on me.. stupid modem..

work was tiring.. and Quan Yi Feng came today along with her husband Hong Rong and their sole daughter.. u know? Quan Yi Feng from Channel U?

ya aniwae she came at the time when we stopped taking our last order.. and i happened to 'chase' her away..

'sorry maam, we've stopped taking orders for the day'

and omg.. hahahaz.. she stared at me with a face that said 'WHAT?!'.. and finally after a split second she said

'WA LAU EH~!'

hahaha~ wad can i do? u think celebrity very big arhx? shout until so loud scared no one hear arhx? hahaz..

she turned to Hong Rong and said something i dun quite remember.. and they turned and went.. hahaz..

i feel so lonely.. i know u explained that u are busy lately.. and u had to save up on sms fees.. well.. i juz cant help feeling lonely.. u  onli talk to me on serious things.. where did our mushy conversations go?

who m i to u exactly? still the most important guy in your life?

8.53pm
feeling so terrible.. life is so horrible..

cher came to my hse juz now at 6 to use the internet.. tts why i left early.. dressed in formal clothes i've never seen before.. ya.. this is the cher i've nvr seen before.. no.. it cannot be.. where's cherlyne from romankan.. return her..

fetched her at the bus stop.. i din say anything.. i couldnt say any.. i was feeling terrible the moment i saw her.. i motioned to her 'lets go'.. and she followed behind me.. instead of the usual beside me..

we din say a word until we were waiting for the lift..

'are u tired?' she asked..

'no, im ok..'

silence..

into the lift.. silence..

'auntie,' she called to my mother..

into my room.. silence.. she used the computer while i managed my papers.. later played some games on the handphone..

'wad are u doin?' she asked..

'play games'

i handed her the phone to see..

'splinter cell'

blah blah blah..

burnt a disc.. and we're rdy to go.. i put a discman into my pocket.. for listening to when i m on the bus trip back home from her hse..

'huh?' she asked..

'i send u home'

'no im not going home.. going to a bdae party at frens hse'

replaced my discman to the table.. sent her to the bus stop.. the bus came along very soon..

'byebye..'

'i send u to the MRT station'

'huh?'

she seemed surprised and unwilling.. she alwaz allowed guys to send her home etc and she would complain tt she was reluctant.. and i guess she was too this time..

thats where it hurt me.. the cher i know from last time wouldnt give a 'huh?'.. where is her...

she talked on the phone on part of the 10mins journey.. hanging up.. she said to me..

'so stupid, tml NE muz wear all same colour..'

i said tt national day is coming soon.. wouldnt be surprised if asked to wear uniformed colour clothings.. cos it shows unity doesnt it?

'but its black..'

o.O well...

she said bye to me at the control station.. i looked at her.. for the first time of today we looked at each other for a few seconds.. and it muz have been the shortest of any other day before..

'wo zou le.. byebye'

i nodded.. silence... i guess my face looked abit ready to cry..

'dun be so upset la huh..'

i finally smiled..

'byebye,' i said.. 'take care...'

walked to jubilee and to the third floor - Zone X... din play any games.. din feel like playing.. no mood..

home..

9.14pm

11.32pm

i feel so terrible.. this is getting torturous.. if onli u know how tortured i feel..

ms hui is sick.. gone to arcade during free time.. felt better.. feel more like myself when im not thinking..

hate thinking..

long day ahead tml.. think have  a LSC lecture? die.. can slp.. and the 1st CB tutorial of the semester..

11.36pm

7.00am
she really din give me a damn ydae! lolx.. no msgs, no calls, no msn msg..

and omg.. i juz couldnt forget... and why does my phone suddenly lights up on its own? lolx..

had a terrible dream.. i dreamt she talked to me on msn.. and we were... quarrelling? u know, we dun usually remember our dreams very clearly.. but i kinda remember me, mummy and her? we were quarrelling over... erm? christianism? i quarrelled with mummy and her seperately.. and both din wan to reply me..

P.S. Cherlyne is a christian, and i dun really know whether mummy is one anot.. lolx.. cos she celebrates christian, has a christian name, but i think is a buddhist? lolx~! =pPpPp mummy dun mind clear my doubts?

all i could remember was - she chose christianism over me... haha! as for mummy.. i din really know why we were quarrelling over it.. lolx~! but its onli tt part..

izzit too much of King Arthur? lolx..

7.07am

wad a cold morning... the cold chilled me a little even thru my fats and 2 shirts.. perhaps its juz the air-con bus..

dunno whether to hate taking the bus to school anot.. seriously sitting on 74 for abit less than an hr being reaching school i wad i look forward to most in a school day.. but hecks.. i hate taking the bus home.. haha!

isnt lame.. think.. we usually go home at 3 or 4.. and sometimes 74 isnt air-conditioned.. and omg.. the stupid weather is juz so hot! lolx.. i can practically sweat my way throughout the journey..

worse still if u take an air-conditioned bus with a stupid driver on a sunny day.. the weather is so hot.. and the stupid bus-driver juz refuses to lower the temperature! omg.. tts a super sauna (izzit spelt this way?).. sometimes if i manage to fall asleep in tt kind of situation.. i wake up finding myself all wet with sweat...

LSC tutorial is interesting.. but her lectures arent interesting to me.. her lecture is right after my break.. and after eating, u juz feel like dozing off.. lolx..

and carine wasnt tt bad today.. aniwae.. sorry poor gavin~ hahaha!

and i detest the stupid mac lessons.. (i forgot wads the short form of the module) macintosh! lolx.. I HATE MACINTOSH! everything craps up! i'll nvr forget how it screwed me during my DTP.. cant print from the computer tt we were using cos of colour constrains?

I Love Bill Gates...

And wad.. i m getting so cold hard.. everything in me is turning into stone..

After analysing abit on wad happened btw me and u.. i guess tt u had a little attitude chng.. either u dun realise it, or u juz dun wan to admit it.. but forget it..

u nvr said 'wad e....' before..

'hi.. how are u' was deleted from ur dictionary..

for the 1st time in 3 mths.. today is the 1st day u din contact me and i din contact u either.. and u came online.. i guess u were using ur fren's computer at around 8pm.. cos urs is spoilt..

8pm.. tts rare... muz be someone u found tt u could rely on.. tts good.. i dun need to worry tt much anymore.. i feel like being used.. but  i trust tt u are nvr such a person.. are u..

all i hope is tt when u talk abt me to your bf  next time like how u told be abt the other guys, u wld spk positively abt me.. how i wish i could talk to u face to face now.. but i know u dun have the time.. and u dun wan either.. right?

i love waking up at 5am.. i alwaz feel so good..

i love to be alone and silent..

Remember
can u remember those days?
when we took the bus together?
i'd play with ur hand
poke your hips
and let u tickle me
oh cant u remember those days?
 
can u remember those days?
when we watch the movie together?
i'd look at u occasionally
ask for ur hand to play with
and let u pull my jeans
oh cant u remember those days?
 
can u remember those days?
when we reported for work together?
we'd meet for breakfast
i'd decide where we'll eat
and u'd alwaz be late
oh cant u remember those days?
 
can u remember those days?
when we were still in holidays
we'd talk till late night
i'd often fall asleep
and u'd alwaz msg me slp tit
oh cant u remember those days?
 
i cant remember those days..
all i remember is u no longer wanna take a bus home with me
you're too busy for a movie
we'll report to sch together, but at two ends of the island
and if i asked u to talk on the phone, u'd ask me wad i wanna talk..
 
i remember me telling u on your last day of holiday
that i'm so afraid tt u might drift from me
u said u went to sch to study
and not to see guys
but tt wasnt wad i was afraid exactly
 
i remember 2 years ago, weesan told me exactly the same thing
tt was before her sec4 sch started
she told me exactly the same thing
but look wad happened?
 
i dont remember any happiness
i'm full of emptyness
i'm made of sadness
and oh goodness
cant anyone treasure a poor 18m?
 
if onli u knew, how terrible i feel now..

King Arthur
caught this movie with vinz and vernz at bugis today.. the show is kinda fast.. and i dun really wad was going on.. lolx.. the fighting scenes werent tt great.. the other scenes all talking abt god.. and they were fighting for a place tt din exist? lolx.. wad the.. blur.. rating: 6.5/10
 
Gosh
and gosh.. did u say u did send me sms but i din wanna reply on last week? lolx.. ya.. i knew u sent.. but... 1 sms? is 1 sms per day all i worth?
 
 

I live beneath the heart
I watch you from the dark
I'm every breath I'm every dream
I've known you forever
I've followed you everywhere
I'm every scar I'm who you are
when you think you're alone
when you cry cos someone's unfair
you can rest assured I'm always there

even when you feel like you don't belong
even when you fall and it all goes wrong
you know that I'm with you
that I'm with you all the time

say a little prayer for the restless heart
we shall never ever drift apart
know that I'm with you
know that I'm with you
with you all the time

I'm walking round the room
I'm laughing when you smile
and when you cry I cry too
I made you a promise
that I shall forever be
you're on your own but not alone
when you're down and you're rife
and the world tells you no-one cares
you can rest assured im always there

even when you feel like you dont belong
even when you fall and it all goes wrong
you know that I'm with you
that I'm with you all the time

say a little prayer for the restless heart
we shall never ever drift apart
know that I'm with you
know that I'm with you
with you all the time

save a little love for me
you'll see
save a little love for me
you'll see
save a little love for me
you'll see
and you'll see

even when you feel like you dont belong
even when you fall and it all goes wrong
you know that I'm with you
that I'm with you all the time

say a little prayer for the restless heart
we shall never ever drift apar
know that I'm with you
know that I'm with you
with you all the time

you know that I'm with you
that I'm with you all the time

say a little prayer for the restless heart
we shall never ever drift apart
know that im with you
know that im with you
with you all the time

Muz be cool already 

Wad u wan? 

Drinker 

Sleeping? 

Cry
hahaz.. u reading this? by the time u did, i guess i'd have left u.. i juz came online.. and winz told me i shld move on.. ya.. agreed bahz.. i already made up my mind on the train back home..

Agony
frankly to u.. u are making me very miserable.. u are like.. neglecting me so much already.. and gosh.. wad happened to the good old days when u started sch and i was still working? i loved it.. u'd msg me juz to say u missed me.. and who called me dearest? who travelled from tampines to amk juz to send me to orchard to work? who'd msg me every morning to say good morning.. and every night to say good nite?

Expectations
i know u are not expected to do them.. who m i to u aniwae? jy tai tian zhen le.. but its recently u became so cold to me.. wad have i done to have u do this 'on and off' attitude to me? m i really your most important guy? i doubt so.. i know u have ur reasons to not reply my sms.. but muz it be so? i dun wanna say so.. but ur reasons are so... well..
'oh.. i fell asleep'
'i nvr receive'
'i was outside'
'alot ppl talking to me, my hand pain also'
cant u msg me tt u wanna slp?
or in the morning tt 'sry i fell asleep?
cant u ask me whether i replied?
cant u reply a msg outside?
u mean i am not as important as many other ppl?
ur reasons are valid.. but they juz simply cant make me any happier..

Sometimes
sometimes i din wanna say things so straight to u.. somethings when said will never make things same again..

Remember
u still remember my question to u? well.. forget it already.. this is juz another way of your rejection isnt it? deep in ur heart u had nvr wanted to accept me isnt it? if ur answer is no.. tell u.. stop cheating urself..

Input,Output
i've done so much for u.. and tell me, when was the last time u did something for me? lend me ur slam dunk?

Sorry
if i made u angry with this passage, i'm sorry.. if i made u sad.. i'm sorry.. isnt this the best ending for us both? u dun have to find an excuse to reject me.. i have a good reason to move on..

The End
at the end of the passage.. im not supposed to cry.. big grown up boys shldnt..

huo xu, zhe shi zui hao de jie guo.. xian zai, fen shou, zong hao guo ni bu ai wo yi tuo zai tuo..
maybe, this is the best ending.. to seperate now will be best tt to carry on without u liking me at all..
<>

Tomorrow
by tml.. i'll be grown up again.. i mustnt let down those who care for me..
special thnx to
winoa, whose speech were very supportive of my own thinking and made me get to know wad i wan..
vinz, who listened to me whenever i run into problems..
pz, who provided a listening ear and cared for me when i was feeling lonely while u werent there..

from suhui to kailun to mummy to weesan to cherlyne..
tml will be Jiayong No.6

At the end of the passage.. im not crying anymore..
my heart has stopped..
my tears are dried..
my mind comes to peace..

Oh
and oh.. i feel so unimportant..

School
trying hard to get into schooling mode bahz.. hahaz.. did all my stuff.. everything is going alright.. i dun get to team with carine(phew), did my summary.. everything is starting to get fine bahz.. except...

Perhaps
her net is up le.. talking to so many ppl.. like bu guan wo.. hahaz.. no choice bahz.. sometimes its the feeling tt: 'ya.. i know u are busy.. but i juz dun care la.. cant u pay a little more attn to me?' hahaz.. lame bahz.. coming back to the very 1st part when i was scared.. hahaz.. of so many ppl.. wads a little jy mean? hahaz.. *sigh (its 7mins since u last replied me)

Exams
somewhat i m now afraid of exams again.. sigh.. i mean.. the projects we muz do, the things we muz memorise.. like so diff liddat.. and ppl out there talking abt tt we muz know the concept of everything, not memorise.. wad the heck.. u try to understand a certain part of MNIT for me to see and u write down all the points.. stupid alex wang! (remember his topic tt he chose for presentation) and oh sigh.. (its 10mins since u last replied me)

Quotes
dont marry the person u can live with, marry the one u can live without (wad if the person dun wan marry u lehx? hahaz)

Notice, the below passage is solely for my own view.. u are not recommanded to see..

Important
i remember u once said.. i m the most important guy to u.. but.. is it true.. are u telling a lie.. no.. seriously.. i dun think u are.. but is this the way u treat me? once before.. u sms-ed me, u wanted to call me, u talked to me online.. now?

Now
1st i had to start finding u to talk in msn.. den.. u stopped asking me whether u could talk to me anot.. but i was still ok.. cos u msged me every morning and nite when u wake up and b4 u slp.. but now? i had to sms u.. sometimes u dun even reply.. i m so silly.. hahahaha~ if someone were to ask me.. is the wait worth it? my answer wld certainly be no..
but why u wanna wait? cos i'm the silliest guy in the world.. jy ah jy.. u've been fooled once.. u want to be fooled twice?
seriously i dun think u are even considering the qn, are u.. is it such a hard decision? i've read the horoscopes.. ppl born in may have bad luck in love.. ppl born on the 21st of any mth has bad luck in love too.. yes.. agreed i m super bad.. but do u have to play me like this?

Ydae
i remember e day b4, something like this happened before.. but i told myself.. jy.. u expected too much from her.. she's juz a fren.. wake up k?

P.S she cant see this cos her net is down... and oh wtf.. i'm crying? lolx~

2-hr-sch
the 2-hr-sch day nvr fails nvr wake me up.. cos we onli need to study for 1 hr.. lolx~! uhm~ study dunno wad module.. den later go out with cher.. watch spidy 2.. ya~ end of day~

Summary-of-sunday
summary of sunday? juz tt i go cher hse, try to fix her modem but failed.. come back.. tts it.. sigh~

1st day
1st day of sch.. abit weird la.. cos 1st day 3 lectures.. and 1 lecture is like last sem's mkting.. have to write down the powerpoint's slide's notes.. super time wasting and energy consuming.. all the ppl haven chng too much ba.. maybe hairstyles etc..

Who-Am-I
during the lectures vinz asked a very gd qn.. do u know who are u to her? hahaz.. seriously i dunno too.. today i go work, and many ppl questioned wad btw me and her.. i said we are still frens.. and no one believed.. haha~!
anyway tt probed me to probe her to probe the qn again.. she said she dunno, but she's happy together with me..

Treasure
maybe there may be alot ppl woo-ing u bahz.. but if u dun treasure the chance.. well..

Down and Out
i cant stand it anymore.. i cant stand the 'u wan den u msg, dun wan den suddenly become very cold' attitude.. i mean ya.. i appreciate the fact she msgs me every morning.. but.. well.. after tt she juz doesnt seem to want to reply anymore.. something is very wrong.. and for now.. i'm juz too tired.. i'm down and out..

Sigh
lately oso dunno wad to post oso bahz.. i mean.. no mood la.. cher's not feeling too good lately either.. cos she isnt adapted to sch yet.. and she juz bought a printer.. tt caused her computer to sort of crash and she cant come online now.. tts why i dared to post this post today..

Someone
lately she doesnt feel good.. same here.. but i alwaz tell her tt i'm fine.. work's fine etc.. but seriously i aint tt fine bahz.. firstly is due to her bahz.. i mean how happy can u get when she's so moody and sad? den she din reply some of my sms-es recently.. i mean.. she claimed that she sent me a few sms.. but i din receive.. i mean.. i trust her.. but its juz tt.. its too frequent.. is the phone spoilt to the extent of being unable to send out, or mine unable to receive so many sms? i think she replies 2 of the 3 sms-es i send bahz.. and some of which is super late replies cos she is in class..

Work
work has been stressing me out oso lately.. for the next week i guess, my schedule will be planned by boris.. and boris is those kind of unreasonable ppl tt will heck care ur schedules and leave u to die.. ya.. and i've been moved to kitchen staff bahz.. alot of things i cant learn properly.. i mean.. i dun really get the rythm.. bu xi guan.. and today still learn how to do closing for the cash machine.. abit stressed out bahz.. i really wan someone to tok to.. but who can i get.. hahaz.. i dun feel comfortable talking heart probs to guys.. i dun wan to keep running to mummy whenever i hit probs..

Cherlyne
and surely not cherlyne.. how can i tell her tt.. 'oh.. i feel so weird tt i nvr receive your sms and feel sad when u feel sad too'.. i mean.. tts crazy~ and i dun feel like bothering her.. since she is so down and out lately..